i lay here..., my side empty, my heart asking, and my mind breaking,
from the self inflected pain of a heartless asshole,
last to know, first to fall, uncontrolled the entire time,
take these shots, take these lines, and leave me with the pestering hollow feeling of my lies,
give me a minute and I'll tell you I love you, give me a year and I'll break it off smoothly, give me 756 days and I'll destroy your world, give me a lifetime and maybe you'll start to understand,
understand why God gave me life, why the things i do are so conveniently fucked up, and why sometimes I change my mind about changing my brain,
because no matter what i do, truly, it's all for you.

I got my eyes gouged out by the talons of a wizards hawk!

This culture has molded me,
Hip-hop now runs through my every vein,
I breath its rythm and drink its ryhme,
take the time to pick apart each and every line,
understand its revolutionary movement,
fly with its passionate winds,
it inspires my very being,
it lets me cry, laugh, and live a life so inspired,
i couldn't ask for a better medication,
this music is my band-aid and I'm far to afraid to rip this shit off,
it flows through my day and allows me to respect the moment, the now,
i can't let go, can't give it up, the love of my life, rips at my soul and holds it so delicately together,
saved my life, like jesus on the cross, it's power humbles my control i don't have over life,
thank you for this gift, it was well worth it...

This is me.
This is what i do, what i live, what i breath.
Every facet of my being exudes this.
I dream about it in surreal realities,
I believe its essence captivates my creativity,
It lets me continue and go forth,
My passion,
love of my life,
everything I am is apart of it's life,
it makes me okay, it makes me sane,
joy, fulfillment, pride and accomplishment,
pure happiness,
thank you God for this gift,
thank you God for this curse,
thank you God.

\a friend for the books! fuck that, a friend for a life time. Finally someone who understands and will stand next to me, not just through thick and thin, but through the fat and skinny, because together we are trouble, but apart it hurts. Anything you name it and we are there for each other, brothers from different planets but met on this one and controlled the cosmos through their common realities, no stopping them, only possibility is surrender to what they've found, you wish for it, but it's ours!

Blood red tea! let me be,

finally lost, eventually found, but no matter, i prefer the ladder, why escape when i can present, for this present is my everything, no matter the past or future, but the now has so much more power, sick and tired of taking care of the sick and tired, so now he aspires to greater heights and finds love in the forks in the road, but always turns left, seemingly following some circle, not a deja vu, but an existence that spiritually is older than socrates, so it's okay, he feels fine and just asks for another shot, not vodka, but whiskey; it clears the mind, or so he thinks...

I want you.

Us.

This.

a love like that, a love grown men fear for when experienced they cry, because the possibility of such a fealing can only bring tears; tears of joy; tears of devastation; tears of true life, for within that love they've found it, the extreme sensibility of true intimacy, two become one, they write about it in movies, you day dream about it in class, but until found, we are lost, in search men are driven to war, hatred, lust, and evil, only to be led by her into true beauty, the most precious of treasures, what separates us from animal, God's greatest gift, and curse, for this double edged sword swings furiously and in the wrong hands can cause the best of the worst, we need it like air, and it needs us to breath its reality, to feel it's pain, to create it's magic, to spread it, to live it. I want it.

A Tortured Soul

escape,

freedom,

imprisoned in his mind he wonders why,

why he ever gave a fuck he'll never know,

why she gave him life only so he could swallow it whole,

love lost self found,

worth every moment,

as he bleeds the seconds,

time drains and still he complains about the wound,

infected,

disease festers in a tattered soul,

pieced together,

but in the wrong place,

obscure to say the least,

push forward and breath

Fuck it all, as he finally slipped back into his cocktail, she wondered would he ever come back out from this wet dream, dry nightmares now outlined his insides and escape came through her screams, he never wanted this, but embraced it as beauty, for the deranged jungle of a mind he created made for a good game, no winners, just losers that could chose temporarily to be scared, or flee. blame me for it all, please im begging on my knees for punishment, disease, hatred, anything so you can breath, cause im sick of it all. the pain is pure and lets him feel a life where their never was a choice, never a moment he controlled, but with only a roll of the dice everything was fine, back to a normality once formed in some kind of mathematical sequence that always equaled the exact same outcome as before; nothing. no place to hide his fire so he breaths the sorrow. blood know boils when she thinks of his lips, tenderly kissing each inch of her neck, then ever so delicately ripping the flesh into to shreds, destroying the creation. why live in something manifested by lie, it was never happiness he pined for, but instead the lust of pain. it gave an end to a surreal begining, it brought reality, it created life, and he hated him for it, but she loved herself for it; so together the equation made sense, made love, made friends forget each others names, and made lovers complain to their new facade that it was in the past and never even mattered, but without it she never could have known who she was and he could only count his lives on one hand now.